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Awkward Questions with… Taskmaster hosts Greg Davies and Alex Horne
The Taskmaster presenters reveal whether they’ve ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it, confess to stealing and reveal the hilarious CV lies that came back to haunt them.
Taskmaster returns for a 10th series this autumn at its new home on Channel 4.
Greg Davies and ‘little’ Alex Horne are preparing to challenge, embarrass and poke fun at five new comedians through a series of bamboozling new challenges.
Contestants including Johnny Vegas, Richard Herring and Daisy May Cooper will be trying to ‘make a large item vanish’ or ‘carry drinks across a garden while carrying a giant teddy and not touching the grass’, showcasing their physical and creative skills for our amusement.
In an attempt to turn the tables on the show’s co-presenters, we decided to ask them some awkward questions of our own…
Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
Greg: Oh God yes.
Alex: We’ve never told each other we love each other Greg.
Greg: Are you sure?
Alex: I’ll write it down, because we should for the next series.
Greg: Your eyes tell me you love me.
Alex: I expect I have said it. But I don’t want to name names. Not in the last 15 years.
Have you ever stolen something?
Greg: I’ll tell you specifically what I stole. And it ages me extremely badly. At university my shared house had a record player and the stylus - which for younger readers is the needle that goes on the record - broke.
And at the time, Boots the Chemist sold record players. So I went into Boots, found the same record player on display cabinet, pulled the stylus off and placed it under my tongue. As I walked out of Boots, I cut my tongue on the stylus, so God punished me instantly.
My heart was pounding through my chest at the time. I felt like I was in a great bank heist and when I got home, the people I lived with all cheered and celebrated me like I was an all-conquering stylus God.
Alex: I’ve just stolen cash from my mum and alcohol from my dad. I took the cash from the handbag and they used to have decanters of port, so I’d take the port out and top it up with water.
Greg: Yeah, Alex grew up in the royal household.
Alex: Did you not have decanters of port lying around?
Greg: I’m amazed you went directly into your mum’s handbag. I used to steal from my mum by keeping the change to get some chocolate. Going directly into the handbag, that’s monstrous.
Alex: It was only ever a couple of quid.
Greg: Well, she’ll know now. I know she’s an avid reader of BT interviews.
Have you ever lied to get a job?
Alex: I tried to get into Oxford University and I lied on my form that I’d read Beowulf. They asked me what I thought about Beowulf in the interview and I didn’t know if it was a poem or a man, so I didn’t get in. They know instantly. They can see in your eyes.
Greg: I lied in all my teaching interviews. I taught in three schools and I lied in every single one of those interviews. To this day, I don’t know a single thing about teaching. At all. I don’t know, or care, how to educate children.
Something that amused me was that for my first interview for teaching, the headmaster started laughing and said, "Well done for your Chief Scout's Award".
When I got home I discovered that my mother had updated my CV and had added bits of information about me without telling, so my teacher application included that I was a Chief Scout. Absolutely ridiculous.
Could Taskmaster solve problems around social distancing and the two-metre rule
Greg: Are you suggesting Alex and I should become part of a government taskforce? I’d certainly be up for that and lending my expertise.
Alex: We do get messages on Twitter saying we need to send in the Taskmaster to sort this out. Like the Presidential debates in America. If there is a clamour, we will step in.
Greg: I will happily be parachuted in to any top ranking government role and bring Alex with me as the Gove to my Johnson.
Alex: I’ll happily Gove your Johnson.
Greg: Thank you. And I’d like to see you Gove my Johnson.
Watch Taskmaster on Thursdays at 9pm on Channel 4.
Catch up on Taskmaster series 1-9 on All 4.